


Take her to the moon

by thatgirlyeojoo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Aged up characters, Bittersweet, Coming Out, First Love, M/M, angsty Jeongcheol, fluffy Verkwan, high school life, high school verkwan, other members are mentioned, post-Jeongcheol, pre-Verkwan, teachers Jihan, you're gonna suffer but you're gonna be happy about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24979039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgirlyeojoo/pseuds/thatgirlyeojoo
Summary: Jeonghan spies from his desk in front of the classroom as Hansol shifts his chair closer to where Seungkwan sits. Seungkwan, in response, turns to Hansol, expression open as though welcoming his classmate into his personal bubble, and they share the textbook between them. Jeonghan knows Hansol has his own copy─has it right on his lap, even─but Hansol still leans closer to Seungkwan. As Seungkwan points to a spot on the page, Hansol stares at Seungkwan instead, expression fond and gentle. Jeonghan smiles.It is very cute, and it reminds Jeonghan of the old times. He hasn't been in a relationship in years. By now, everyone knows him as The Old Bachelor™ at age forty-one. His colleagues have introduced him to a lot of guys and girls of all shapes and sizes, but he simply doesn't want to date anyone anymore.--Alternately, Hansol asks Jeonghan for a love advice, and Jeonghan tells him about the time he fell in love some twenty years ago.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 36
Kudos: 129





	Take her to the moon

**Author's Note:**

> angsty again, but no surprises there. inspired by seventeen's [i wish](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFxAMFEOoes). title from moira's [take her to the moon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcTTqQuj4wU).

Jeonghan spies from his desk in front of the classroom as Hansol shifts his chair closer to where Seungkwan sits. Seungkwan, in response, turns to Hansol, expression open as though welcoming his classmate into his personal bubble, and they share the textbook between them. Jeonghan knows Hansol has his own copy─has it right on his lap, even─but Hansol still leans closer to Seungkwan. As Seungkwan points to a spot on the page, Hansol stares at Seungkwan instead, expression fond and gentle. Jeonghan smiles.

It is Jeonghan's history class with these senior high school students. He set them the task of writing a short reaction essay about the way World War II changed people's lives. While Jeonghan waits for them to finish, he observes how each one behaves. He has this habit of analysing their quirks, moods, and tendencies. From there, he learns how to tailor a proper approach to them. 

These students are interesting, like a dynamic set of characters in a novel. He used to watch Chan closely, who is very enthusiastic in class even though it is evident history is not his favourite. He then moved to the exchange students, Minghao and Junhui. They used to keep to themselves, too shy to talk to the others because of the language barrier. They soon opened up to their classmates at the prodding of Mingyu (the one Jeonghan calls in his head as Mr Congeniality) and Seokmin (aka Mr Sunshine).

Now, Jeonghan's subjects are Hansol and Seungkwan. Young as they are, Jeonghan can sense that they like each other─in a non-platonic sense of the word. He is not supposed to pair his students up romantically, but it is very apparent that that is the case, given the way they act around one another. There is always something magical, literal sparks flying around, at the way they stare at each other. They hold hands, hug, and are just too clingy, overall. It is very rare to see Hansol without Seungkwan; they orbit around each other like the moon does to the earth, attached closely like a magnet to steel. They share everything and whisper together a lot as though they are in their own little world. They may not be aware of their behaviour, but Jeonghan is almost sure his suspicions are correct. 

It is very cute, and it reminds Jeonghan of the old times. He hasn't been in a relationship in _years_. By now, everyone knows him as The Old Bachelor™ at age forty-one. He only feels slightly bad for his mum, who has been asking for a grandchild, but his younger sister took care of that and gave her twins. His colleagues have introduced him to a lot of guys and girls of all shapes and sizes, but he simply doesn't want to date anyone anymore. 

When the time is up, Jeonghan stands up and picks a handful of students to read their essays aloud and explain their answers. He comments on each one in a light manner, hoping his students won't fall asleep on him. History, after all, is considered by many as a boring subject, so Jeonghan does his best to make it interesting. Because it is.

Being with his students like this, he is already pleased with his life as a single man.

\--

Even though Hansol doesn't say it, that kid's face is like an open book, and Jeonghan can see right through him. From what Jeonghan can read from his general vibe, he believes he is Hansol's favourite even though he is not Hansol's homeroom teacher. He is always helpful in Jeonghan's class, very attentive, and interested to learn more. Jeonghan shouldn't have favourites too, but if he would be asked to pick the students he likes, Hansol would be on top of the list. 

Hansol volunteers to collect the essay they wrote and follows Jeonghan to the faculty room.

"Seungkwan isn't coming along?" Jeonghan asks.

"Oh." The tips of Hansol's ears instantly turn red. "He says he's heading straight to his part-time job after class. Should I catch him─"

"No, no," Jeonghan says quickly. "It's just, you always go together, don't you?"

They reached the faculty room. It is almost empty, save for a handful of other teachers─Jisoo and Wonwoo are still working in their respective corners, and Jihoon and Soonyoung are speaking with the principal. Hansol places the sheaf of paper on Jeonghan's desk carefully and smiles up at him.

"We're best friends."

Jeonghan smiles knowingly at the student. Hansol visibly reddens again and looks away evasively.

"Well..."

Jeonghan chuckles. "Alright, Hansol," he says. "You might need to catch up with your classmates now."

Hansol doesn't leave quickly; he stands there beside Jeonghan's desk as though debating with himself about whether he should go or stay. After a few moments, he nods and exits the room...

...only to return back in. "Ssaem, are you busy?"

Jeonghan looks up from the first paper he is marking, wondering why Hansol would ask that. "I have time to talk. Why?"

Hansol approaches his desk nervously. "Um... Can you keep a secret?" he whispers.

Jeonghan sets the paper aside to give Hansol his full attention. "Of course, Hansol. Here," he pulls an empty chair, "have a seat."

Hansol seems to change his mind after seeing the chair, hesitating before his teacher. "Y-you seem busy. Sorry, I'll just─"

"No!" Jeonghan assures him, reaching out. "It's okay. Your essays can wait. Do you want to head somewhere no one would hear us or...?"

Hansol's eyes widened, looking panicked. "No! It's okay, ssaem! I'll sit here." He did. "I'll just talk _very_ quietly."

"Alright, then," Jeonghan says. "What do you want to talk about?"

Hansol doesn't say a word right away. He seems to be deciding the best way to say it, jiggling his legs up and down in his anxiety, and Jeonghan waits patiently.

"It's okay; whatever you say here will stay with me. I won't share it with anyone, not even with Cheonsa─my puppy," Jeonghan adds.

"You have a puppy?" This seems to cheer Hansol up, eyes wide and sitting a little straighter. Jeonghan shows him a couple of pictures of his white toy poodle on his phone.

"I live alone here in the city, and he's my only companion."

"Don't you go out on dates?" Hansol asks. "You're so handsome, ssaem, everyone should be lining up to date you."

Jeonghan barks out a laugh, flattered. "Thank you for that, but I don't want to. I have a lot of other things to do."

"Ssaem, I'm gay."

Hansol says that very suddenly, as though hoping Jeonghan won't notice while he laughed. But Jeonghan hears the word loud and clear. His laughter dissolves into a gentle smile. "Okay."

Hansol stares, brows in a worried line. "I said I'm gay, ssaem," he says slowly and quietly, emphasising his point.

"I heard it the first time. And?"

"And… wait, it's okay with you?" Hansol asks incredulously. "You're not even shocked or, or disgusted?"

Jeonghan chuckles again. "Why would I be disgusted?"

"Because I'm gay?"

"Why should being gay be disgusting? You're alright, Hansol. You're a nice kid who works very hard in my class," Jeonghan replies gently. "Don't ever think that being gay is bad."

Hansol falls silent for a while, eyes shining with disbelief. "I haven't even told anyone, ssaem, not even Seungkwan or, or my dad because I'm so afraid to admit to them the kind of person that I am," he finally says with a shaky voice. "Thank you for not hating me. You're really very kind."

"There's nothing wrong with being a wonderful person, Hansol," Jeonghan says gently. He knows too well how Hansol feels, and he can see his old self in his student. He was exactly like this when he was younger─afraid to trust, afraid to be true to himself. He can feel a surge of pride for Hansol's bravery, even at his young age. Jeonghan pats Hansol's head. "Thank you for trusting me."

"Wow, that went well. I mean, I always knew you would react kindly, but I've read a lot of stories of people who struggled in coming out, so I was still a bit nervous. Scratch that─I was _so_ nervous! That's why I volunteered to bring the essays for you, so I could talk to you. Thank you so much, ssaem," he says. "I don't even have an idea how my dad would react, but thank you for giving me courage."

"I'm sure he will also react positively because he loves you," Jeonghan says.

Hansol sighs. "I hope so," he says. "Do you… Do you think it's gonna be okay with Seungkwan?

"Of course!" Jeonghan answers without any hesitation. This, he believes to be true after seeing how tightly knit the two students are. "I don't think Seungkwan is the type to discriminate or judge you for being who you are."

"I know that too, ssaem, but I am most nervous about letting him know," Hansol says. I can only think of very few people I should come out to, and he's on that short list along with my parents, sister, and you."

Jeonghan feels very honoured to be considered, and he is also the first to know. He understands well how hard it is to come out, to choose the person you trust the most to not judge you when you tell them. He is glad at least one student thinks of him like this. He feels fulfilled as a teacher.

"Also… there's one more thing, ssaem, and this is another big, _big_ secret! Don't ever tell anyone!" Hansol says, probably spurred on by the confidence he got from coming out and being accepted.

"Not even Cheonsa," Jeonghan says, right hand raised in a promise. "I'd be honoured to hear it first─that is, if you also haven't told your best friend yet," he adds with a wink. He can easily predict where this is going.

Hansol reaches up to scratch his sideburns and smiles sheepishly. "H-he is the secret, ssaem," he says, face burning again. "I... like him."

Jeonghan grins. "It's not very hard to tell."

Hansol tenses up, eyes bulging. "So I'm being obvious?" he says, scandalised. His voice rises slightly in the quiet of the faculty room, and he slaps a palm across his lips.

Around them, Wonwoo gathers his things and leaves with Soonyoung. Jihoon follows them shortly after, asking why Hansol is there while on his way to the door.

"Consultation," Jeonghan explains simply.

Hansol turns back to Jeonghan as soon as Jihoon is out of the room. "But, ssaem, I like him so much, and I don't know what to do. He might not like me the same way!" 

"I guess we'll never know if you don't confess to him, will we?" Jeonghan says, shifting a little in his seat. "Tell you what, I observe you all while I'm teaching, and I can see that you two are very close. It's apparent how genuinely he likes your company"

"Ssaem..."

Jeonghan chuckles. "I'm not saying all this to give you false hope. Rather, if you find the courage to confess, and _if_ he ends up not feeling the same way you do, I don't think he'll reject you harshly."

"Or maybe I should just shut my mouth about this," Hansol supplies sadly. "It's just a crush, anyway. It's not like I am hoping to be his, his boyfriend or, or whatever."

"Aren't you?" Jeonghan teases, and Hansol pouts. "It's all completely up to you, of course," Jeonghan says. "You're still young, and you have a long life ahead of you. Just think about it, and choose to do the thing you believe you won't regret."

Hansol sits quietly in his chair, brows curled anxiously.

Jeonghan elaborates: "If you confess, it could result in a lot of things. That means you're opening up to him about being gay. Now, if you're comfortable to let him know that fact about you, then it's okay. If he likes you back, he may accept your feelings. If he doesn't, he may reject you. Depending on the depth of your friendship, things could change between you two: either you drift apart, or you leave all that behind you and stay as best friends. If you don't say anything, you may save yourself from the risk of being rejected. At the same time, if he actually likes you back, you will never know because you never said anything. And you might regret not taking the chance when it's all right in front of you."

Hansol sighs. "Aw. That's too complicated."

"That's how life and love are," Jeonghan says wisely.

"How do you know all these, though? Have you ever been in a similar situation?" Hansol asks with genuine curiosity.

Jeonghan smiles. "Oh, but Hansol, it's going to be a very long story."

Hansol sits up straight, and in that moment he looks exactly like an overgrown puppy. His imaginary puppy ears flap, and his imaginary puppy tail wags enthusiastically. "I have time!"

Jeonghan chortles. "Alright, well, since you shared your secrets with me, I'll share mine."

"I promise I won't tell anyone! Not even Seungkwan or dad!"

"You're very close to your dad, aren't you?" Jeonghan suddenly asks, noticing how many times Hansol has mentioned him.

"We really are!" Hansol says. "It's just me and my sister left here in Seoul with him right now."

"Why, where is your mum?"

"She's in New York, helping my grandparents with the business there for a while."

"Why didn't you all go together?" Jeonghan wonders. 

"Dad can't go because of his work, and my sister and I have school here."

"And there's no Seungkwan in the US," Jeonghan teases, and Hansol reddens again quickly.

"That's part of the reason too, yes," he admits shyly. "So, ssaem, your story?"

"Gosh, I was hoping you'd forget you asked about that!" Jeonghan says in jest. "It's nothing out of the ordinary; I was like you before. To cut the story short, I liked someone, but while I was wondering whether I should confess, they got ahead of me and admitted they liked me too."

Jeonghan can still remember it vividly─rainy night and two young men sharing a small umbrella because Jeonghan forgot his own. It was a bit pointless to still be using it; they were already soaked anyway. But he wrapped an arm around Jeonghan's shoulder protectively, avoiding as many puddles as possible. God, Jeonghan had been so giddy with the proximity, the feel of his skin on him. When they reached Jeonghan's house, he just blurted out, "I like you!" He even asked whether it was weird for a guy to like another guy, but Jeonghan said, "I don't think so, no, because I like you too."

Jeonghan recalls all that but doesn't elaborate for Hansol.

"That's good, isn't it?" Hansol says excitedly before realisation dawns on him. "Oh… but then, you're no longer together now."

"Well, yeah," Jeonghan says nonchalantly. "We dated for some years, but they had to study overseas. We tried keeping up with the long-distance relationship, but we eventually hit the dead end. We broke up."

And via a phone call too, because they were so far from each other.

At that moment, Jisoo approaches them, putting the story on pause. "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. Yoon-ssaem, I'll go ahead," he says. He and Jeonghan are the closest amongst the faculty members, have been so all their lives, and they always walk to the bus station together. As they did when they were still young.

"Oh no," Hansol says hurriedly, moving to stand up. "Sorry for keeping you here, ssaem─"

Jeonghan lays a gentle hand on Hansol's arm. "It's okay, you can sit back down." He turns to Jisoo. "Be careful on your way home, Hong-ssaem. Let's catch up tomorrow. We're still not done with the _consultation_ ," he adds, sending signals to his co-teacher with his eyes.

With that, Jisoo already understands what is going on. After all, he has also had these kinds of conversations with a lot of students before throughout their eighteen years of teaching. He smiles back. "Okay, you take care too. Bye, Hansol!" Jisoo waves, stepping out of the faculty room.

Jeonghan looks around and sees the principal has also already left without them noticing it. "Now, we can talk more comfortably," Jeonghan says brightly. 

"Ssaem, is it really okay to stay? I mean, I'd love to hear your story, but you might have to go home now," Hansol says, ever a considerate young man.

"Don't worry about it," Jeonghan says. "Where was I again? Ah, so we broke up."

Hansol relaxes in his seat, ready to sink back into the tale. "You couldn't have fixed things?" he asks.

"I do wish we have, but it's really difficult to be so far away from each other. Maybe because I was too impatient and too selfish then," Jeonghan admits. "I wanted to apologise to him and ask him if we could start all over again, promise him that I'd do better. But when he got back here in Seoul, I heard he already got married and had a son."

Hansol's jaw drops. "No!"

Jeonghan chuckles at Hansol's reaction. Now he can laugh about it─but when he first heard the news, it felt like his world crashed all around him. They broke up, but Jeonghan still loved him. The word 'wedding' used to trigger bad memories in him, and for a time, he couldn't bear to look at babies without hurting; they reminded Jeonghan of the things he should have had but lost. It was only his sister's wedding and pregnancy that changed things for him. He adores his twin nieces so much he is almost spoiling them. 

"It was all very sad, of course," Jeonghan continues, although to say that it was _sad_ is the understatement of the century. It was, in fact, _soul crushing_ . "But I sincerely wish he's happy, wherever he is right now. Like, _really_ happy."

Because Jeonghan knew he broke his heart, and he regretted doing it, regretted hurting him. But maybe if that heartbreak led him to better things than Jeonghan could ever hope to give him, Jeonghan would be assured all the pain were not in vain.

"Oh," Hansol sighs again. "But what about you? You won't be happy if you're not with the person you love, right?"

"As long as he's happy, I'll be okay," Jeonghan says. "Isn't that what love is about? When you love someone, their happiness comes first."

"Is that why you don't want to date anyone?" Hansol asks.

"I have dated a lot of people after him, but he's my greatest love, Hansol. And in all these years, I've never met someone I could love more than I loved him. I think it would be unfair to love someone half-heartedly."

"Did you ever find out if he's happy right now?"

"I haven't met him again since then. I never knew," Jeonghan says. "He probably is. God, I wish he is," he adds in a whisper.

Hansol frowns, voice shaky. "I want to hug you, ssaem. Can I hug you?"

A lump forms in Jeonghan's throat. _Yes, he would like that very much._ He spreads his arms wide to welcome Hansol in. Hansol leans forward and plants his chin on his teacher's shoulder, taps his back a few times. It was only then that Jeonghan realised Hansol was crying.

"Hey, why are you crying?" Jeonghan asks a little incredulously, but even as he says that, his vision blurs with unshed tears. He blinks them away. It's all over now, isn't it? Why should it still hurt like this?

Hansol pulls away. "I'm sorry," he chuckles wetly. "It's just too sad, ssaem, what happened to the two of you." He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. "I wish you're also happy despite all that."

Jeonghan shrugs. "Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm not happy. I have my precious students, and I have my nieces and Cheonsa to make me smile every day."

They descend into a comfortable silence for a short while after that. It is already dark outside, and some of the lights in the hallway are being switched off. 

"Um, ssaem..." Hansol starts again cautiously. "You said 'he.'"

Jeonghan nods. "Yep," he confirms. "So you kinda already know what that means."

Hansol nods slowly.

"You won't dislike me because of that, will you?" Jeonghan asks and realises how he is genuinely concerned about what Hansol thinks.

Hansol snorts. "Why would I, ssaem? You're practically the best teacher here! But don't let my homeroom teacher hear that."

Jeonghan ruffles Hansol's hair. Hansol only dodges a little because it will mess up his style. 

"When did all of that happen?" Hansol asks. 

"About, um," Jeonghan mentally counts the years. "Almost two decades? Give or take a few years."

"Wow, that's too long."

"That is why," Jeonghan says, "I told you earlier to pick the decision you know you won't regret even after twenty years. You may take your time, of course. You have a lot of time ahead of you."

Hansol's shoulders sag again. "But it's going to be our finals exam two months from now, and after that, we'll graduate."

"Won't you contact each other after senior high?" Jeonghan asks. "Friendships created in high school are some of the best you'll ever have. Did you know Hong-ssaem is my best friend from high school?"

"Really? That's incredible. So he must know all those things you told me."

"Of course. He was with me all the way, saw it all happen and fall apart," Jeonghan says. "But I won't tell him what you told me because that secret is between the two of us." He adds: "Now, I hope you and Seungkwan and everyone else will continue to be friends beyond your years in this school. It would be great if you arrive at that point in time when you'd just reminisce all the silly things you did here and laugh at them. It's going to be hilarious. You'd have the best drinking sessions as adults." 

Hansol smiles at the thought.

"Or maybe you're hoping you and Seungkwan won't just stay as friends? Something better than that?" Jeonghan wiggles his eyebrows at Hansol. 

"Ssaem!"

"Just kidding, Hansol," Jeonghan beams. "It won't be impossible for him to like you back, you know─you're a very nice young man. I heard a lot of students from other sections like you."

"But what if he doesn't like guys? You know, Seungkwan likes Wonder Girls and still follows their individual activities even when they've already disbanded. He listens a lot to Twice and Red Velvet. He likes _girls_."

"Gender doesn't matter in liking someone. It doesn't discriminate. You like someone just because you do; there's no specific reason for it. And it's the best feeling ever," Jeonghan says.

Hansol nods, thoughtful. "Do you miss falling in love, ssaem?"

"I never stopped falling in love," Jeonghan shrugs. "But it's a different type─with my nieces, my students, my puppy─"

"How about that man?"

Jeonghan stutters to a halt. It is also the one question he asks himself, and he always arrives at the same answer. "Well... maybe I haven't stopped loving him because his happiness still matters to me." _He still matters to me._

Right then, Hansol's phone vibrates. He pulls it out of his pocket and checks the caller ID: _Kwani_.

"Go ahead," Jeonghan says kindly.

Hansol moves towards the window, but Jeonghan can still hear Seungkwan's voice from the other line. His voice is _that_ loud.

"Where are you!" Jeonghan distinctly hears Seungkwan yell. He laughs quietly. The rest of Seungkwan's nagging is calmed by Hansol's gentle responses.

"Oh, I'm still at school. Just talking with Yoon-ssaem... right, don't shout... no, uh _consultation_... what did you tell him? ...right now? ...I disabled SMS notifications, sorry... okay, okay. Thanks, Kwan... yep, see you tomorrow... you, too... don't stay out too late. Bye!"

Hansol pockets his phone shyly. "Seungkwan called to tell me my dad's on his way here," he says, scratching his sideburns again. "Apparently, they're all texting me and looking for me."

"Oh no, sorry for keeping you here. They must be so worried," Jeonghan replies.

"No, ssaem, it was me. You still have to mark all those essays," he says. "My dad should be here any minute now to pick me up. I'll just run to g─ oh, dad!"

There was a soft knock on the faculty room door, and it cracked open by just a few inches, enough for the person on the other side to peer in. Hansol approaches the door to open it the rest of the way for his father. "Come in, dad, I'll introduce you to my teacher," Hansol says, and his dad enters, wearing a cardigan and a dark beret.

Time stops for Jeonghan, and he is pulled back to his twenties. All the memories come flooding back─of the youthful guy he used to hold hands with while hiding at the back of the school gym because not everyone could understand how two guys can like each other. Jeonghan remembers all the times they spent their extra coins in the arcade and the jjajangmyeon from the corner store nearby. Those were their _little dates_ , they called them that, and promised they would treat each other for a really fancy dinner as soon as they got their first pay. Oh how disgusted Jisoo was for their cheesiness, he kept telling them that.

But all of those things didn't happen because he studied abroad, and everything fell apart since then. Communication between them dwindled to a zero after a year. Jeonghan asked to break up because he couldn't take the loneliness of being away from him, of having no guarantee where their relationship was going, and whether it was still worth fighting for. It was all Jeonghan's fault; he had been immature and greedy. A year after, he was already a wedded man and starting his little family with his wife and their baby boy─ _Choi_ Hansol. Of course. 

"Ssaem, this is my dad, Choi Seungcheol," Hansol declares, and Jeonghan wants to say _I know, Hansol_.

Seungcheol looks the same, except the eighteen years that passed is already showing in the thin lines around his eyes and lips. At forty-one, he still has those bushy eyebrows, bright doe eyes, high nose bridge, thick lips, and sharp jaws. He is a lot muscular now, his shoulders and chest wider than Jeonghan remembers. 

"Dad, this is Yoon Jeonghan, my history teacher."

"History..." Seungcheol repeats in his deep voice, the voice that used to make Jeonghan's heart flutter. Even now, his heart is hammering within his ribs, and he wonders whether the father-and-son would see his very skin trembling at the sight of the man he longed to see again after all these years. 

Seungcheol was off to New York to study business, and Jeonghan was left in Seoul to pursue teaching. Before they broke up, Jeonghan was still contemplating which subject to focus on. Seungcheol never found out what Jeonghan ended up picking. 

Jeonghan can't trust that his legs won't give in if he dares to stand up, but he has to be a professional here despite the jumble of emotions he is feeling. He stands up, trying so hard to hide the fact that he is shaking from head to toe, and approaches Seungcheol─finally, after eighteen _long_ years─to shake his hand briefly. The touch sends a jolt of electricity in Jeonghan's palm, but he can no longer expect Seungcheol to feel the same. Hands clammy with nerves, he pulls out of the grasp quickly even though he would very much want to hold Seungcheol's hand longer. He lets go first, like he did all those years ago, and he can't hope to get Seungcheol's hand back because someone else owns it now.

"Nice to meet you," Jeonghan says, voice clipped.

"How do you do?" Seungcheol replies formally.

_Jisoo sits at their usual lunch table at the back of the cafeteria, joined by someone Jeonghan only knows by sight but not by name. Jisoo introduces them, says he's Choi Seungcheol from the other class, and they're in the literature club together._

_"Nice to meet you," Jeonghan says, extending his arm for a handshake._

_"How do you do?" Seungcheol replies awkwardly._

_They soon relaxed in each other's company after several lunches together, and when Jeonghan asked what kind of literary works Seungcheol likes, he says it's history, because while "many people think it's boring, it's actually full of interesting characters and twists, better than any novel."_

This interest in history rubbed off well on Jeonghan, and Seungcheol eventually passed it on to his son.

Hansol looks between the two adults. Jeonghan almost forgot his student was still there. "Uh, I'll leave you two here to chat a bit while I grab my bag. I left it in the classroom," Hansol says. When he is acknowledged by neither men, he backs away slowly and exits, muttering how he hopes the room is not locked for the night. 

"I didn't know Hansol is your son," Jeonghan starts nervously. _I should have known; you have the same eyes, the same cheerful aura._

"He's my eldest," Seungcheol says pleasantly. "Small world, isn't it? I only came here to pick up my son. I wasn't expecting to see you here at all."

"Same here. Sorry for keeping your son too long. We were just talking."

"About?"

"Consultation," Jeonghan says, as he had told everyone who asked before Seungcheol.

"I hope he's doing well in your subject?"

"He is, of course. He's a diligent kid." _And that's to be expected because you're his father._

Seungcheol nods. An awkward silence passes between them. In the short while of hush, Jeonghan wants to say a lot of words─apologise for all his past mistakes, tell him how much he missed him, how he never stopped loving him. But everything is over now, isn't it? There is no use in saying all these things. There are no more what-ifs. It all ended when Jeonghan asked Seungcheol to break up─a decision Jeonghan regrets to this day. 

"I think my son and I should get going," Seungcheol starts. "My son has overstepped your hospitality."

Seungcheol bows and takes his first step to the exit. Jeonghan doesn't know whether they will see each other again, have this chance to speak alone, and ask his million-dollar question. _It's now or never_. "Seungcheol─" Jeonghan calls in a hurry, and Seungcheol stops in his tracks but doesn't look back immediately.

"Can I─I want to know," Jeonghan's voice shakes around the new lump in his throat. But he pushes himself to ask now, or he will never know. "Have you been happy… all these years?"

Seungcheol finally turns to look back at him, slowly like in the movies, straight in the eyes. He seems to be considering his response, several emotions passing by in his visage. It's an existential question, not anyone can answer easily, so Jeonghan waits. Waits a few more minutes just as he has waited all these years. When Seungcheol finally replies, it is full of sincerity.

"Yes, Jeonghan, I have."

It's catharsis. Jeonghan smiles a real one, relieved to hear the answer to the question he has been asking for half his life. "That's really nice to know, Seungcheol," he says, equally sincere. He can feel the regrets dissipating from his pores. Everything is worth it: Seungcheol has lived happily. 

Hansol reenters the faculty room, and the way Seungcheol looks at his son and pats his head with complete adoration explain his answer. This is similar to how Jeonghan looks at his twin nieces─how he loves them with all his heart and how they make him happy like they are his daughters, like they are his _world_.

"Ssaem, we're going ahead now," Hansol says cheerfully, his grin reminiscent of the eighteen-year-old Choi Seungcheol that Jeonghan met for the first time at the cafeteria of their old high school. "Thank you so much for all the advice."

"Glad I could help," Jeonghan replies. "Be safe on your way."

"You, too, ssaem," Hansol says, apologetic yet again. "Please don't stay up too late. I'll tell my classmates we'll just get our essays back on Friday, okay?"

"Alright, Hansol. Thank you!"

Jeonghan catches Seungcheol looking at him. They briefly bow to each other, and just like that, father-and-son leave. 

\--

Jeonghan observes from his desk in front of the classroom as Hansol peers into whatever Seungkwan was writing. Jeonghan heard from Jisoo how Seungkwan likes calligraphy and helped in decorating a pretty poster for the journalism club. Seungkwan shifts the paper closer to Hansol, so the latter could see it better. Hansol throws Seungkwan a sideways look, trying his best to be stealthy, but Seungkwan caught him at it anyway, and they both laughed. Hansol checks if his Yoon-ssaem is looking, and after catching Jeonghan's eyes on them, Hansol looks away shyly with a grin.

"Why?" Seungkwan seems to ask based on his expression, noticing Hansol's reaction.

Today, Jeonghan's history class has just finished answering a short quiz. They are all drawing closer to the finals exam, so Jeonghan is helping them recall earlier lessons by playing games and setting them short quizzes. As they finished the scheduled set of activities earlier than anticipated, he lets them relax for a bit while waiting for the school bell to ring; after all, they have been studying nonstop for the finals. Some of them have also started reviewing for college entrance exams. There is a pleasant buzz of chatting inside the classroom, and Jeonghan observes their interactions from his table, like always.

Hansol gestures for Seungkwan to wait. His round eyes confused, Seungkwan watches as Hansol approaches their teacher.

"Yoon-ssaem," Hansol begins, frowning. "Stop teasing me!" he whispers.

"Oh," Jeonghan chuckles. "I wasn't teasing, Hansol. I was just glad to see you get along well," he replies, his voice equally soft.

"You're only like that because of what I told you."

Jeonghan shakes his head. "I've always been like this even before you told me."

"Because I was being obvious," Hansol says with a sigh. 

Jeonghan shrugs. "Well..."

"Ssaem!" Hansol whines.

"Don't mind me, okay? What you have to focus on now is acing the finals exam. Impress _someone_ , you know."

Hansol opens his mouth to protest once again, but Jeonghan talks over him. "Your dad! Your mum! Your sister! Your _best friend_!" Jeonghan adds with a playful grin. "Isn't that right?"

Hansol sighs. "Ssaem."

"Run back there; he's waiting."

Hansol bows before leaving but doubles back like he did at the faculty room. "Ssaem, you seem more cheerful now."

"What do you mean?" Jeonghan asks.

"Your eyes usually droop, you know. That was the first thing Kwan and I noticed at the start of this year. When we were still unfamiliar with you, we used to describe you as the teacher with the drowsy eyes," Hansol explains. Jeonghan almost took offence, but his student continues, "Now they're all bright and beautiful."

It has been three weeks since they had the 'consultation.' That was also what Hansol told Seungkwan when the latter asked what happened on the day he went missing and when his dad looked all over the place for him. 

"Do you remember what I said would make me happy?" Jeonghan asks, and Hansol nods. 

"You said you want to know whether the person you love is happy, wherever he is."

"Well, I already got my answer."

"Really?" Hansol asks, astounded. "When? That's great! What did he say?"

"He said he is happy," Jeonghan replies with a smile. "And it's all thanks to you, really."

Before Hansol can ask how he could have anything to do with it, Seungkwan appears at his side. "Ssaem, is Sol bothering you again?" he asks like he is so ready to nag Hansol for disturbing their teacher. The pair dissolves into a bickering mess, and Seungkwan promptly drags Hansol back to their chairs. 

Jeonghan smiles at the pair. Seungcheol used to say this a long time ago, that history repeats itself. That is the whole point of studying history, he said: so you learn from what happened in the past and improve in the present for a better future. Jeonghan is not a seer, but no one can exclude the possibility of Hansol and Seungkwan eventually becoming a couple. Who's to say Hansol won't decide to go and study in the US like his dad? Leave Seungkwan behind? And if that ever happens, they could face the same hardship as Jeonghan and Seungcheol did. Jeonghan can only hope the future will be in Hansol and Seungkwan's favour.

**Author's Note:**

> idk what it's like to be a teacher tbh i just think jeonghan would be the kind of teacher students would feel comfortable to open up to. he's mischievous, but he's very caring.
> 
> i did say the chance for a part 2 is very slim to none, but I wrote a prequel [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26474932)! 
> 
> @shykneeonyou on twt  
> thatgirlyeojoo on cc


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